Please Read a Book before Teaching stupidity.

I took a class recently on impact play (every good teacher should also be a student) and came away with some good and some bad.    Mostly bad.  The bad "triggered" me.   It caused my "triggers" to be...uhm...triggered.   Fingered.   Whatever.   (sorry, had to do it...the "trigger" phenomena is just so snark-worthy.  Triggers exist.  90% of what people call triggers, aren't.  They are better known as "I'm too immature to be responsible for my feelings...you do it for me!")

*ahem*.    Sorry.

If you're going to teach a class of some kind - please read a book.   Go to your local library, look in non-fiction (it's the dusty place no-one ever goes) and check out a few books that relate to your topic.  Take allergy medications - the dust is made from the flop-sweat of evil library demons.

Will you find something on whipping a naked girl while she whimpers and drips?

Probably not.  
(If you do, help a brother out - point me to that library, would you?)

But you'll find books on kinesthetics, and human biology.   Maybe books on the history of whip making, and another book on kinetic wave forms (look'em up, they're important to impact play).

You might find books on ropes, and how different kinds are made.   Books on the history of discipline through the ages (seriously, who wouldn't want to read how to brine'n'birch someone properly?)

Or, you know...just make it up as you go along.   Ooooh, and don't forget to quote "internet wisdom" (which we all know is ALWAYS right...*snort*) - while "teaching" a class full of people who are going to go and use your information to fuck someone up.

Another piece of horror on the news - but hey, at least it isn't going to hurt your Fet-lebrity career, is it?

Fucker.

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"Hydrostatic Shock" is caused by severe impact to a portion of the body.  It involves the shock compression of fluid filled tissue, transmitting portions of the energy of impact (because fluid doesn't compress, even if the tissues slightly do) through the body.   The transmitted physical shock disrupts both soft tissues and nerve systems, possibly terminating neuro and bio-electrical signals intended to keep autonomic systems functioning.   Ie, the shock knocks your body off-line, and causes permanent crushing to soft tissue.   It's a serious and life threatening issue ... to a cop wearing body armor and taking rounds in the vest.

You Mr. Teacher, on the other hand, will NEVER cause it by "punching too hard".    Please read a book.

"Whiplash" (or Cervical acceleration–deceleration) is caused by the sudden acceleration and torquing of the muscles and ligaments in the neck, rebounding back into "natural" position at high speed.   Hence, the acceleration-deceleration bit of the name.    It's a very major safety issue ... in car crashes.

You, Mr. Teacher, will not be causing it by smacking your bottom's face too hard.   You'll cause a sore neck.   Please read a book.

"Counter torque" is torquing (creating rotation around an axis by exerting angular force) in reverse while the body is still in the moment of force.   Stopping the body while it moves is not counter torque.   Whipping the bottom around by the wrist, and suddenly changing direction - that's counter torque.   And harmful.  So out goes the pretty SSC pin on your Michael's off-brand leather vest.

You, Mr. Teacher, need to stop throwing people around until you understand bodily mechanics.    Please read a book.

"Gentle kicks" do not exist.   A shove with the foot exists.   Kicks are blunt force trauma.   They cause bruising (bursting of capillaries beneath the skin), and can cause traumatic force to transmit to the joints.  A "nice coupla kicks" is not a "safe" way to cause someone pain.   Especially, you little bastard, when you kick them on the hips or back.

You, Mr. Asshole, need to be punched in the face.   I had someone I cared about quite deeply get her hips damaged permanently from this kind of crap.   Please read a book - while you recover in the hospital from a good kicking.

...

If you're going to teach - read a book.   Read lots of books.    You're passing along information to a new generation of players, and yes (no matter what it does to your fucking Fetlebrity status) you are morally reprehensible if you "make it up" as you go along.   There's enough stupidity out there, from people who think they can learn from watching porn.   Don't add to it.

Read a book.   Or eat a dick.   Your choice.

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