Listen to the Silence

Begin any paddling session with a bare hand (or softer toy) warm up.   Unless you are playing with (or are yourself) a heavy masochist, the bottom will appreciate the warm up, and you’ll enjoy the time getting intimate and familiar with their anatomy.  Safe Word, Safe Word, Safe Word.    When you’ve played with someone for years, you can play without some kind of safe word they can use to tell you to stop.   It’s your job to judge their feedback to know how fast or slow to go – but they should always have a way of saying “enough”.   And “no”, “stop”, or “ouch” are NOT safewords.  Wide paddles mean a lot of force spread out over a larger area.   They tend to be louder, and heavier.  That generally means you can swing harder as the play goes on, without doing as much damage – but it also means you can impact with a lot more force.   It also means diffusing the force of each swing into a larger muscle mass – so less of a sharp pain and more of a rough one.    Thinner paddles deliv

But I actually have a Pinterest. God help me, I made a Pinterest. And seriously...I feel like the oldest guy on there.   I have no clue what I'm doing, and I've already been on there a few months.   Don't even get me started on twitter....the whole idea of informing the world of what I'm doing constantly doesn't sound like a good thing - it sounds like voluntarily surrendering what's left of my right to privacy. http://www.pinterest.com/kenovasir/boards/

So after way too long, I finally have a webstore for the stuff I make.   Instead of randomly giving them as gifts, getting requests to make them for sale for pro's and semi-pro's, and building furniture for stress relief...I'm finally getting a site up to get things out there. Go me!   Well, me and my partners. K CreativeKinkProducts.Com

Guys.   Seriously.  This one is from the heart.   (Or as close to one as I have.)   It’s going to hurt at first, but I’m asking you with a genuine plea – stick around until the end.     I’m good with words…but I’m not good at apologies.   I’m a male dominant.   It’s what I am, from my vanilla personality on through my career, and down into my sex life, my marriage, the women in my home, and out throughout the rest of my life.   I don’t play it at a play party, and I don’t dress up for the sex – I just am who I am. I didn’t start that way.   I started out as a confused teen boy looking for a boyfriend, all the way back in 1996.   I knew none of the terminology, had no clue what the hell I was looking for – I just wanted an older, prettier boyfriend.  And since I was younger - of course he'd be the Top, right?  Wasn't how that was supposed to work? The guy I found was what we now call a “dumbinate”.   He was a cute volleyball player who had just graduated my high sch

This?   This is going to be another of those “uncomfortable” rants.    Just warning. That said. I have this little problem with a few things that I’ve been reading and hearing lately.   And I’m hoping that you, reading this, do as well.   Or at least, that you will once you’ve had a bit of time to digest this.  I’m tired of hearing protesting over “equal rights”, “civil rights”, and “oppressed minorities”.   Yes, I realize there are oppressed minorities out there.   By definition, oppression is almost always against a minority.   But that word?   Minority?   “You keep using that word.   I do not think it means what you think it means.” A minority is a group which is smaller than the opposing group – known as the “majority”.   It does not mean “black” vs. “white”, or “trans” vs. “hetero”, or even “gay” vs. “straight”.   So when you refer to minorities, please – be specific.   Because I’m through listening to rants about the evil oppression of minorities, from someone w

Someone cut and pasted my original "10 Things a Dominant Needs from a Submissive" rant into their profile, claiming it as their own.   The guy was even nice enough to tell me in answer to a question in the comments section that his mentor gave it to him 20+ years ago.  When some of the people on his writing left comments to the effect that the writing couldn't be 20+ years old, because it mentioned M/s Conference in 2008, he deleted them (and my questions as well.) This, is officially, hilarious.   It is AWESOME that someone wants 15 minutes of fame on such a niche venue as K & P, and used my writing to do it.    Imitation being a sincere (if irritating) form of flattery...that is freaking wickedly cool. My ego is standing up and doing seal-barks and claps right now.   For reals.   *Arh, arh, arh!* Jokes aside - the same writing went up on K & P and had over 800+ loves, and around 200+ comments when it was finally taken down for the whole "intellectual