Listen to the Silence

Amish Paradise, yo.    In all seriousness – someone asked me from my blog what I think the most important thing is for a new Dominant.     Having written a “newbie Dominant” post a few months ago, I thought about just sending back an email with a link…but that seemed disrespectful.     The man took the time to ask me a genuine question – I owe him a genuine (if not as witty as usual) answer.   Should I tell him to invest in rope?    Find a good local mentor?    Only use water based lubes?    Then it hit me.   Humility.     “When we’ve been here ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun – we’ve no less days to sing his praise than when we’d first begun.”   Whether you’ve been here for thirty years, fifty years, or fifteen minutes…you have things to learn.    You have skills to master.    And you will always have someone wiser ahead of you, and someone behind you asking you for help.    As soon as you begin believing your own hype, and getting a bit of wind u

ON COLLARS   I’ve received a LOT of angry responses elsewhere, as well as angry emails here and on FL.    What amazes me is that the vast percentage of the attacks aren’t responding directly to my posts.   They aren’t responding to the sum whole of what I’ve written, or even acknowledging it.    They’re attacking details.    And that’s what gets me.      Not the name calling.    Not the “he’s an asshole!” cross-posts attacking me personally, and my writing topics.      But if you’d really rather attack a nitpicking, mother-loving detail rather than actually engage what I’m ranting about?     Water.    Duck’s Back.    Do the math.    Attacking a detail in a post is right up there with “TL DR, (too long, didn’t read) and here’s why he’s wrong.”     You’re not making a salient point.    You aren’t refuting the topic.    You’re not engaging in a dialogue to change an opinion.    You’re creating a straw man, lighting it on fire, and living the fallacy.    (Ad ho

We aren't going to agree on everything.   And that's okay. As a matter of fact, that's great.   It's enlivening, empowering and magical.    That's what made the United States into such a unique country in the first place - differences which could be discussed in a (mostly) rational manner, and common ground made into common cause.   You don't have to agree with me.   Many don't.   This isn't a "agree with me, my sycophantic flying monkeys!" kind of blog.    This is a Rant Blog.   It's going to generate some static.   I understand that.   Amazingly, a lot of the people who disagree with me still read my rants and reply privately to them.  I'm grateful for that - any man who lives without outside opinion is a man removed from humanity in general. You don't have to like how I say things.   I can be caustic.   I try very hard to only make public the rants that I have left to "season" for a while; I can tone them down a

I’m sorry.    This one has been coming for a while, and I keep taking it down to tame it down.    To clean it up.    To get some of the ranty taste out of it.   Because I don’t want this to be a curse filled rant (which it was) ripping new people a new orifice (which it did) for not knowing any better (which they don’t – mostly.)    But seriously?     A 21 year old who identifies as a Master, and identifies himself as Master <NAME>, and speaks to others as a Master in casual conversation?     Or a “teacher” with an ad for a student, who has never had a teacher himself?     How about a 23 year old “mentor”, or a 25 year old Mistress who claims to have 10 years of experience?     Dear God in Heaven.    Please.    Pleeease.    Shoot me now.    Just…just shoot me.      (Or clear the room of witnesses and let Me shoot Them.)    Say it with me.    Titles.    Are.    Earned.    Not just leather titles.    Or community award titles.    All titles.    Doctor, Esquire