Please Defriend Me – The List

I’ve seen a few of these online, on Facebook and Fetlife.   So I decided to write my own, and see what rattles the tree.   I actually receive indignant emails about "And So I'm the Bad Guy...” from people who followed from Google or FL.    Because, you know, anonymous people online cursing at me is going to be uber-successful in converting me “back into the fold”.  

That said.  

Please DeFriend me: 

1.  If you demand that I respect your kinks, your politics, your sexual preference, gender identity, lifestyle choices, religious beliefs and right to expression…but you refuse to respect mine.    I’m a pro law enforcement, politically conservative, gun owning Roman Catholic.    You don’t have to like it.   You don’t have to agree with it, believe it, or support it.   But if you expect me to respect your choices (and I will), kindly have the courage to respect mine. 

2.  If you think you’re the only racial group, religious group, sexual-preference-identified group, gender group or (status) group that is discriminated against...and thus, are the only one allowed to “talk” about discrimination.     My people still live in generational poverty, and don’t even have the dream of getting out.   Nor are we overflowing with “inspirational” figures who “made it” in the world.   That isn’t a “my cause is worse than yours” note…it’s a “please respect that others have it rough too”. 

3.  If you’ve ever used the phrase “you’re (race/gender/identity), so you wouldn’t understand.”   Try me.  Try “them”.   In my experience…people can’t understand until you give them the chance.   

4.  If you honestly believe that the concept of the “empowered, hetero, sexist, domineering, (status)-discriminating white male” is a real thing, and not just another stereotype.   Yes, there are rich white male ass-hats.   There are also rich black female ass-hats.   And rich Arabic teenage ass-hats.   And rich gay uncloseted ass-hats.   Ass-hattery is not limited to by gender, race, or age group.    

5.  If you think that someone is evil, amoral, wrong-headed or pigheaded, because they’re a member of a political, religious, or social group which you don’t support.   (see #1, and #4).

6.  If you honestly believe you can rage against the machine, rebel against the man, protest screaming against “the power”…and manage to make efficient and overnight changes.   Dr. King never set fire to any clinics.  His quiet strength was dignity personified.   Clara Barton never made the news by throwing things at cops.   She led by example, without fanfare or triumph.   Wilma Mankiller never staged protests that interfered with food delivery or people’s employment.     She led a nation of poverty, and gave them back some of their power, by sheer competence and conviction.  

7.  If you have ever defended yourself by listing your personal freedoms, constitutional rights, legal protections, et.al…but have never actually read the documents that define them, or the common law and case law shaping their enforcement.    I don’t pretend to be an expert on the Intellectual Property movement, because I’ve never sat down and read the case law.   Please don’t pretend to be an expert on your rights, when you’ve never read them. 

8.  If you’ve done #7 online during an argument, yelled it in the face of a cop while ignoring orders, or “demanded” your rights in a screaming tirade…this goes double for you.   (Note:  If you’ve politely explained to an officer the rights you have while being non-violently civilly disobedient…and have READ the actual law and case law, you are exempt.   In fact, please friend me, if you haven’t already.)

9.  If you can’t accept that sometimes a joke is just a joke, and that humor (by its very nature) is always at someone’s expense.    Laugh.   You’ll live longer. 

10.  If you’ve worn a graphic protest or “shock” t-shirt in public, where CHILDREN could see.    I’m raising a curious and highly intelligent child.   I plan on having 2-3 more.   I don’t need “friends” of any stripe, who expose children to a cause at the expense of their innocence. 

11.  If you’ve ever used minority or  counter-culture slang to empower yourself when talking about others.   Using “breeder”, “whitey”, “jesus crispie” “cissie”, “hettie”, and the like…is just as insulting as others using their slang on you.  (Although I still die laughing inside when someone calls me a Caucasian-Hetero-Male oriented insult, and I get to correct them that I’m actually “Wagon Burning Injun.”)   

12.   If you’ve ever proclaimed the “superiority” or “supremacy” of a group while living as proof of the Oxymoron law.    Alpha males should certainly spend time at the gym.   They should also read literature, understand politics, respect others, and know humility.   Forgive me if I select my heroes from the likes of Imi Lichtenfeld, Ed Parker, and Thomas Jefferson, and not from BodyBuilders Anonymous.    The same holds true for gender-supremacy, sex-supremacy, race-supremacy, and age-supremacy.    I believe in the superiority of the individual – through humble work and personal transcendence.

13.   If you’ve ever used the phrase “reverse racism”.   I’m sorry, but this one makes me twitch.   There is no “reverse” racism.   There is racism – the systemic dislike and active oppression or discrimination against a person or group based solely upon race.   Whether that race be black, white, asian or red.    Anyone can have racist thoughts, or actions, regardless of their own skin color.  

14.   If you’ve appointed yourself the “politically correct” police.   AKA the “racism police”, the “sexual preference police”, the “gender orientation police”, or the “bigot police”.   Believe it or not, none of those things (racism, gay hatred, gender-orientation dislike, or bigotry) are illegal.   They fall under these things called Freedom of Expression, Freedom of practice of Religion, and Freedom from tyranny.   What is illegal is the physical violence or property damage which can come from them.  And since those things are already illegal…they already have “police” to handle them.     (See #5 for reinforcement) 

Thank you, for your time, and your readership.   If this is the last time we meet on the ‘net, know that it was nice to have met you.   If these things insult you unbearably, its best we part ways before it comes to any further friction or pain.    If you do leave my friendship now…I respect your right to do so, and wish you luck with friends who are more compatible with your personal choices. 

Again – have a nice weekend, and thank you for reading.