Posts

Independence Day - and a few thoughts that have nothing to do with kink. Mostly.

I've just finished reading and rereading (and responding to, and getting flamed for) a piece written in the Philadelphia Inquirer about homelessness and the "problem" of the homeless congregating around the convention center that the DNC is about to use. I don't know why (although I have a few guesses) that this issue has me so pissed, and adamant.   But the comments about drug use, "fake claims" of being veterans, and blaming the homeless for their own situation - Folks, the reality?    A lot of those "fake claims" of homeless men and women being vets?    They aren't fake.   These are men and women who served us in uniform (and I get tetchy about this, because my family are just about ALL military and LEO) - who are on the streets because the VA is top heavy with middle managers and no longer has the resources to help the veterans they were created to serve. Let's just say that it took a lot of breaks playing with my son to stay calm

A Few Things to Remember About Fetlife

1.    There is more to life than Fetlife.   No matter how many times you check the site - you are not going to be blasted by some blazingly new enlightenment about yourself, or swamped by a ton of sexy bits who suddenly want a taste of you.   Get your ass off of the computer for at least four hours a week - by going to a munch, a class, or a play party. 2.   There is MORE to life than FETLIFE.    If you are basing your opinions on people, fetishes, situations, or claims of rape/harassment/abuse/consent-violations on things you have read/love'd/been told/heard about on Fetlife - you are part of the problem.   Please, for the love of god - go out into the REAL scene and learn something worthwhile.   Like macrame.   Or karaoke. 3.  The site is what it is, and not a whit more.   It's a great place to find listings of events.   A decent way to find people to talk to (in real life, eventually).   To find great wank-fodder (big ups to K&P).   It makes for an easy way to find a

Trans Racialism

To the privileged little white girl outside my Doctor’s office who made the mistake of letting me overhear her describe “finding herself” as a “Native American spirit trapped by a white body” – and who *really* identified with “that trans-race NAACP girl”. You are not “trans-racial”.   You are not “a Native American” trapped in a “white” body.  You are a racist fuck.    (…who had a so-so rack, and an admittedly nice ass.)   (Neither of which excuse you using the phrase “my spirit ancestors’re crying that I was trapped like this”, by the way.) And for the record - I don’t care about the NAACP trans-racial former-blonde chapter-leader whatever.   This isn’t about that.  Black people, that one’s all you – I sincerely wish you a happy ending, whatever you feel that ending should be.  I stopped paying attention to it, because I’ve got no dog in that race.  Not my right to speak in your place, so on that topic, peace and I’m out.   I respect that you can speak for yourse

A BDSM Letter to my daughter upon reaching the age of Leatherly Consent

First – this letter is going nowhere, until my daughter (and probably an edit for my son) reaches the age of leatherly consent.   Ie, when she’s an adult and I’m no longer freaking out about every boy she looks at.  (Thank God that only entails Justin Bieber, Thor and Superman right now.  Although she’s eyeing up Rainbow Dash, so maybe it’s a bi thing.  I would be okay with a human Rainbow Dash.   Just please God, not Rarity.)  This is a letter that’s going to take me at least a decade to edit and get right.   So first draft, no?    -------------------------------------------------- My dearest girlie, Daddy was a rebel kinkster too.    Daddy dyed his hair, Daddy wore chaps, and Daddy pierced things.   Daddy even rebelled against “the man”, raged against “the machine”, and protested to “take back the night”.   All of the things that your current mother and I roll our eyes over now - we did when we were your age.   Your new friends didn't invent them.   They inhe

Charm City Play Space - Vending Faire II - June 6th

Going to be  here at Charm City Play Space  on June 6th, for anyone who's going to be in the area and wants to meet!    My girl and I will be vending there, but we always love to meet new people in the scene, so come and say "Hi" if you're in the Baltimore area? I hear there's going to be a pretty good play party afterwards... K

10 Tips on Caning

Practice, practice, practice.   Pillows make great practice dummies – they leave behind one to two strokes worth of lines to show you if you’re getting a good clean stroke, and a good vertical line.   The time to make an “oopsie” isn’t on someone’s rear, it’s on someone’s pillow.  (That sounded dirty, didn’t it?) Know your rear ends.   And your thighs.   And your calves, and breasts, and soles of the feet.   Know where you can hit (those places), and where you should never hit (the spine line, base of the spine, kidneys, joints, hands, face, head, neck, shoulders, ankles, knees…just nowhere with bones, joints or major nerves, okay?).     Kneel, Lean and Rest.    Actually, kneeling, leaning, resting, bent over, on all fours, face down-ass-up…put the bottom in a position where they’re supported and where the body part you want is available for play.   Caning causes a sharp jump and sudden slack in the muscles – having a hot girl stand in the middle of a room while you do it may l

Knife Play - Don't Just Pack the Knives!

Knife Play – What should you pack (other than the knives)?   These days, everyone’s got their little kits and their little toy bags – and believe it or not, that’s a good thing.    You can pick up a toiletry or makeup box at any Walmart or Target for less than $10, and have everything you need for an entire fetish ready to go to town.    But while you’re packing the toys, don’t forget a few others things for your knife play… 1.      Rubbing Alcohol This should be a no brainer, but the after care of knife play should include cleaning and disinfecting both the skin and the knives – and if possible, a quick wipe should be worked into the “before” play as well.      Please be aware, rubbing alcohol is a low level disinfectant – it should NEVER take the place of good negotiation questions like “do you have any blood conditions I should know about?”   2.      Gauze Wrap and Paper Tape Because no matter how good you are – there are going to be accidents.