Listen to the Silence

Knife Play – What should you pack (other than the knives)?   These days, everyone’s got their little kits and their little toy bags – and believe it or not, that’s a good thing.    You can pick up a toiletry or makeup box at any Walmart or Target for less than $10, and have everything you need for an entire fetish ready to go to town.    But while you’re packing the toys, don’t forget a few others things for your knife play… 1.      Rubbing Alcohol This should be a no brainer, but the after care of knife play should include cleaning and disinfecting both the skin and the knives – and if possible, a quick wipe should be worked into the “before” play as well.      Please be aware, rubbing alcohol is a low level disinfectant – it should NEVER take the place of good negotiation questions like “do you have any blood conditions I should know about?”   2.      Gauze Wrap and Paper Tape Because no matter how good you are – there are going to be accidents.   

Lately the news has been full of stories on high crime rates, how some cities are “defeating crime” ( no , they aren’t) with new initiatives, increasing efficiency with smaller police forces ( no , they aren’t ) and with new investigative units to crack down on “dirty cops”.   There are even a few about how police corruption is everywhere, and op-ed pieces that police should be replaced with other systems.   The media makes it look like officers live the life of Brian, with great salaries and tons of “extra” income sources.    Let’s review something, briefly.  The average starting salary for a Police Officer hovers around the high 38,000’s.   Some cities (ones desperate to hold onto officers, after putting theirs on blast for the last several years) offer as high as 43,000 or 44,000.   In most of these cities, the people who spit on officers (literally – ask any officer in a large city), make more than that spending half their 40 a week playing on Facebook.  My wife works with s

Here’s one of the most common things I hear from people about caning, summed up in one painful phrase:    “I broke like three canes on that bitch.  It was really a really hot scene.”  Breaking canes on your bitch does not make you uber-Sparkly-Domly-Dom.    All genitalia-to-cane-size comparison aside, it doesn’t make you an advanced or “serious” player either.    I really want to tattoo this into some people’s skulls…breaking canes in scene isn’t cool.   It’s stupid.   And ignorant.   And wasteful of natural resources like wood and rattan.  (Huhuhuhuhuh.    He said “wood”.) When you buy a care you look it up first, right?    Volvo’s live a long time, but they aren’t sporty.   Porsches are fast, but they suck gas like a whore when the rent’s due.   Mini-vans have great interior room, but they’re “conformist”.    Muscle cars look great and sound great – but you’ll have to do tons of maintenance.   Canes are tools.   So are paddles.   And spreader bars, and bondage fu

A.)  “You can’t say that about her choices, that’s gender-shaming!  Typical man!” B.)  “You’re threatened by her sexuality, you misogynist dick!   How dare you slut shame her!” C.)  “Saying that about my body is fat shaming, you sexist pig!” D.)   “Those jokes are insensitive to the trans community, you cissie!   That’s trans-shaming!” E.)  “You’re just uncomfortable with my testosterone laden behaviors.   That’s man-shaming you crazy chick!” …. Now, of those five, which have you never heard before?   If you don’t want me to fat shame, slut shame, goth shame, body shame, or trans-shame you – stop man-shaming me.    And if you REALLY wanted a world free of “-shaming”, you wouldn’t be using the same tactics yourself.   Since we BOTH know you aren’t going to stop anytime soon – don’t expect me to.   I’m a stereotypical male.   (Please note, I said stereotypical, not typical).   I smoke cigars.   I drink beer.   I believe in the triumph of common sense over the “awareness

A response to the Fetlife post “You are NOT the Police – The Hazards of investigating Consent or Abuse Allegations within the Scene” on FL here - https://fetlife.com/users/103811/posts/2179649 First – al-fucking right.   A-fucking-Men.  Finally.   Halle, paired with, lujah.   And so forth.  Every time I hear this whole blathering shite about “WE should investigate allegations of abuse/consent-violations/trigger triggering!”, I really just want to plotz.   Especially when it’s followed with this twaddle - “We should do self-policing and investigation of claims within our own scene!”   And if those particular British and Yiddish-isms aren’t enough for you – here’s some more.  The majority of the people yelling this “it must be investigated!” crap are great bloody minging twats.  Thank you.   Moving the rant on. .. Allow me to clarify – and if you can’t hear the sarcasm dripping down your screen, you really haven’t read enough of my rants in the past.  See, ther

Someone emailed a while back and asked why I occasionally end my posts with "-30".  That's a (very sad) sign that I was writing freelance journalism back when the news was still something you received from a piece of paper.   -30 was a sub-note to the editor or publisher that the line was the end of the piece.   Another question - "Who is Samir Shabazz?"    Google is your friend, but to make it easy - he was the leader of the new Black Panther party, and helped organize the intimidation tactic of "presence" of Black Panther's at voting booths in various cities, back when Obama was running for election the first time around. And a question I've actually had more than once - "Have a biscuit?",  "See how that works, Victoria/Virginia?"      Those are evidence that my sarcasm matured and came "of age" while my I was an army brat living in HQ USAREUR, and living off of the BBC and SkyOne.   They're what we used

To the young, (mostly white) “we’re here, we’re kinky, get used to it!” crowd, and the “We built this shit!” crowds:   Please stop non-consensually butt-raping the word “tribe”.   That poor word has now officially been molested and sodomized worse than a Catholic choir boy.   It has been abused and mis-used to the point where it requires reconstructive genital and anal surgery.   Please allow it at least 12-18 months for healing, repeated reconstructive surgeries, and physical therapy.   Please.     Because, here’s the thing.   If you were raised in White American culture in the 20 th century, the odds are that you have no idea what “tribe” actually feels like and means.   The closest I’ve ever seen to it in White America is in poor southern trailer parks – where the sense of belonging and blood relations come pretty darned close.   I’ve seen glimmerings of it in Gay Leather culture – among the elders who have been around long enough that they’ve lived through twenty or thirty