Pretendians - Pretend Natives and Fake Tribes Cause Real Harm

 We have a word --- Pretendian.   (Okay, mostly we just roll our eyes, and the words we use aren't in your language, or when they are -- they're in southern accents, or First Nations accents, and they're pretty rude, vulgar, irritated, and tired.)

But let's look at that other word.   Pretendian.  Someone who pretends that they're an Indian.  Why would they do this?   I honestly have no fucking clue, in modern America.  

This is because...shock and horror...I actually am one. 

But in the last few decades it has become trendy, and lately even fashionable, to claim native ancestry.  To the point where there are those who are now inventing their own Native tribes.   (Hey kids, it's all the rage!   Invent your own native tribe by stringing together some words, incredibly-offensive-John-Wayne-movie-style!  Or claim your ancestors were on our land before we were, and that makes you the "real" natives!)

You can often recognize these people because they'll hang out (hang out?  Hell, they now POPULATE the fucking "Native American in (area)" groups) while discussing how horrible various tragedies both historical and modern are, and very carefully reassuring each other that blood matters less than "participation", and any "tribal letters" or "history rolls" are racist, and their grandmother's friend brushing up against a Cherokee makes them a full blood.

(Author's note, while I'm shaking in rage... the Cherokee are a real people.  Not a chique identity for white people to add to their pedigree, because the "Trail of Tears" is a fashionable piece of Oppression Olympics to add to your resume.  They are my cousins, by blood, across my nation.  They were once crossed into my tribe by blood and breeding peacefully.  While we, the Red, sometimes poke fun at them because they are spread from sea to sea as a people...we are their cousins.  We share their history.  We recognize they are blood, and they HAVE rolls, and history, and blood lines that they can ACTUALLY TRACE -- read about the Dawes Rolls and Dawes Commission, and then read about "Cherokee Syndrome" - it's disgusting.)

There are people who claim to be Native and think that it gives them some form of status.   That it makes them special.   That it gives them some special rights, or some connection to a spirituality, or to a sexuality, or gender identity, or minority identity, or - in some cases - to access to college scholarships and jobs that are set aside for ACTUAL minorities.   That for some reason, being Native is something special and shiny and glittery that adds to them, or to something missing in their lives.  

There are others who claim it because they want points in the Oppression Olympics.  They need something to make their Oppression stand out from other peoples' oppressions - so their grandmother's sister's brother was a Ojibwe, but they "lost" the papers -- but you can see it if you look at the photo, and that makes them a full Ojibwe (never mind they can't pronounce the tribe's name - and that they don't grasp that chippewa and ojibwe are the same people).   

There are the people who are "Native in Spirit" .... and I honestly have no fucking clue what their deal is.  They generally claim to be Berdache, or Two Souls, or "Gentle Spirits" -- or the opposite side, they are "Kin to the Animals," (Furries, and animal-kin, basically, I think...) --  trying to make spirituality out of it by using misunderstandings of my people's ways and culture.  

And then there are the really far out there - the Turtle River Band, the "Northern Cherokees", the Eastern Delaware Nation, the Chickamauga Cherokees, the Little Shell Pembina ... Native Tribes created whole cloth, generally by white people or sovereign citizen types who think that being Native makes them sovereign from the US Government's laws.   (Here's a hint - there's a list of which tribes hold sovereignty -- and then only on their own land.)

But here's the thing.   

Being Red isn't "Cool". 

It isn't "Spiritual". 

It isn't "Special". 

It's my heritage.   It's my blood.  It's my people.  

Some days it's my burden.  Some days it's what keeps me going.  Some days it's the stories I teach my children.  Other days it's the weight around my cousins' necks.  

It's what I was raised.  It wasn't some deep spiritual journey.  There were cultural things, and there were expectations, and there were foods and languages and there was my tribe, and my clan, and my blood line.  It's the life I live.   Not some sexual fetish, or animal-partnered lifestyle, or sovereign citizen fantasyland, or spirit-quest filled lifestyle, or oppression-darkened gritty noir movie.  It was a life, with maybe a few harsher parts than most, a few more colorful parts, and some experiences that were different than yours.  

But it's my life.  My cousins' lives.  My people's lives.   

And odds are, if you're reading this, it isn't yours. 

So please.   Bitte.  S'il vous Plaît.

Find something else to fucking entertain yourself with.

Find something else to use as your entry in the Oppression Olympics.

Find another race to fetishize - or maybe look at yourself and wonder why race is so important.

Find another explanation for your non-binary gender, or work on just accepting it for what it is and who you are without needing to invent an explanation.

Find your way on your journey into animal-lover-whateverness, without aping my people's culture.  Shamanism and Animism exists in nearly every culture in the world, including - at some point - the one you came from.

And Stop saying that you are a Cherokee, if your family name isn't on the Dawes Rolls, or you aren't registered and active with the Nation.

Don't Wanna Listen to the Asshole above?    Okay, so try reading it in the words of a few other Reds...

Pot and Pretendians (indiancountrytoday.com)

'Fake tribes' can threaten federally recognized ones, genealogist says | News | tahlequahdailypress.com

“Pretendians”: Why Offensive to Indigenous As A Whole – Red Haircrow

List of Federal and State Recognized Tribes (ncsl.org)

7 things you should never say to a Native American - Insider