Listen to the Silence

My father died the day before Thanksgiving, in 2008.   My wife left shortly before, and our girlfriend left shortly thereafter -  It's pretty fair to say I was a mess.  Raising a little girl on my own, with two holes in my life, and my biggest support gone...I definitely wasn't Kenova anymore.   I withdrew from Fetlife.  I withdrew from my own consulting company, and sold it off (the name, the rights, the client list, the equipment, the whole deal).  Every time I felt like I hit rock bottom, I hit auto dial for my father's cell phone.  It was just a reflex - if things were bad, call your Dad.   It took a few times hitting his voicemail, then hitting the shut off notice, before it really sunk in that he wasn't there anymore.   My sister was a missionary and moved in to help with my mother.   I'm not ashamed to say she also came over on 2 hour drives to help with my daughter.   When t...

Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods? Where’s the streetwise Hercules, to fight the rising odds? Isn’t there a white knight, upon a fiery steed? When I was younger, this song was my syllabus.   It was who I wanted to be – the good man.  The hero, at whatever sacrifice or cost.  And there was sacrifice in my life.   There was cost.  I lost 7 years to a marriage trying to be the self-sacrificing hero instead of leaving the first time she hit me.  I have scars from stepping in between a knife and a victim.  I tried to be a good man.  But not anymore.  Somewhere I fell off of that path, and in the last few years I’ve been reflecting on that.  (Amazing what wonders therapy will do for you.)   Somewhere along the decades, I watched the buy-in of “toxic masculinity” by the media and society at large.  That’s where the song (still idolized and beloved by many) became impossible. ...

...is exactly what it's always been. By speaking to him, showing that you treat him as a man, not an enemy. And caring about him as a person, not a gender or on oppressor.  Really people, that's all that it is. Life, and love, are really just that simple.

“The gubbermint used ta po-lice to break us up!” “Police are racists, they broke up our protest!” “What kind of government needs to use force to stop speech?!” Here’s a better question. What kind of protesters are you that officers must to be used against you for the safety of your own community?  That officers have to respond with weapons drawn - in fear of their lives and the lives of others? What happened to civility?   To discussion?   To our ability to have discourse, rhetoric and informed argument without resorting to tear gas?  When did we start stealing each other’s property and lighting it on fire, or wearing masks to town hall discussions?   Why is it okay to kick people off campus by violence if you don’t like white skin color, or make privileged, threatening demands of law enforcement?  You want to point the finger at the police – but in the many protests I’ve been to (as an officer and an observer) I have yet...

Lately there’s been a lot of flak from either side of this debate, and the reality is caught in between.    The Huffington Post’s articles as well as numerous Buzzfeed and Washington Post articles aren’t helping – they’re practically hands in your pockets over helping the poor “Minor Attracted Persons”.   YouTube the phrase “Minor Attracted Persons” or “MAPs” and see what’s going on.  Be prepared for nausea.    The DSM IV TR (the last one before SJW nonsense began adding PC phrasing and line-blurring) defined pedophilia simply.  So, three criteria for pedophilia (and hebephilia, ephebophilia, etc – don’t quibble with me, diaper snipers.)    1.)  Over a period of at least 6 months, having recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger).  2). The person has acted on these urges, o...

If you read the last - you know I'm on a Diversity committee - and this issues really drives me crazy too.    Because seriously - this is not helping the views I'm trying to argue against in my law enforcement community. This - and yes, it IS Blaire White

Recently, I’ve been put on a Diversity Committee for my agency, and it’s giving me a whole different view of things in law enforcement when it comes to our (the LGBTQIA, not the leather) community.   Yes, folks – I’m part of that community.   I’m the oft forgot B – a bisexual.  Fence sitters.  “Pretenders”.  Etcetera.   I don’t put it up on my profile because, frankly, most of you are excluding me anyway. Before anything I want to acknowledge; there’s an issue of “how much is enough, and how much is ‘recruiting for the sake of numbers’” within diversity groups in the law enforcement community.   I assume those same questions extend to other diversity groups – but I’m sticking with the one I know.   As the unofficial representative of the LGBTQIA community (I joined to be the token Native American – I just seem to have become the voice for us instead) – what I see is that even those members of our community who a...